


With Tired Eyes and Worn Out Faces

by wildfire1



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Like seriously I cried writing this, this is sad af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 14:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12368073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildfire1/pseuds/wildfire1
Summary: Alex Danvers doesn't lose. So how come she just lost everything?Based off of The Cyanide and Happiness Depressing Episode: Tiny Face (yeah if you saw that you'll know how sad this is gonna be)





	With Tired Eyes and Worn Out Faces

Alex Danvers never lost. She was born with a determination to do the best in everything, earning her top grades in school and scoring winning goals in middle school soccer. And when her sister Kara came crashing into her life (quite literally) she made it her goal to do even better because who could compete with a girl that could touch the stars. It took a while for her to realize that her sister was a win, not a loss. 

And now looking down at the little pink plus sign, she felt like she won the lottery of a lifetime. 

Squealing with excitement, she fought the urge to text Maggie, wanting it to be a surprise. She also decided not to tell Kara, knowing that her sister couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. She was surprised everyone in National City didn’t already know her secret. 

She rubbed her belly, no visual signs of her pregnancy yet but she knew it was there. A tiny life that would bring so much joy in her and Maggie’s lives. 

She spent the rest of the afternoon setting up a romantic dinner and when she finally heard the door open, she could barely contain her excitement. 

“Hey, Maggie,” she said, stepping over to kiss her wife. 

Maggie’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Hey Danvers. What’s got you so happy?”

Alex ignored the question, looking over her in concern. “Are you okay, babe?” 

Maggie sighed and nodded. “Yeah, just a hard day at work.” 

Alex nodded and wrapped an arm around her. She knew Maggie hadn’t been feeling well for the past few days. “I um, prepared you dinner but I understand if you just want to go to sleep.” 

Maggie gasped as she saw the candlelit dinner awaiting her. The fire cast flickering shadows over the table and two plates had steaming food on it and rose petals scattered the remaining area. “Alex this is incredible.”

Alex ducked her head and smiled shyly. “Yeah, well you deserve it.” 

Maggie smiled, for real this time and allowed herself to be led to the table. 

 

After eating and chatting about Alex’s day at work, they did the dishes and then Alex couldn’t keep the surprise any longer. 

“Wait here,” she instructed, sitting Maggie down on the couch. She ran to grab the pregnancy test and came back, holding it behind her back. 

Maggie giggled. “What you got there, Danvers?” 

Alex produced the stick, smiling widely and stepped closer to allow Maggie to see it. 

But Maggie didn’t react the way she had thought. 

Her smile crumpled and tears formed in her eyes before dripping down her face. 

Alex was crestfallen and put the test aside in order to comfort her wife. She didn’t understand. They had talked about children and had been trying to have one for two months now. 

“I’m sorry, Maggie,” she whispered, rocking them gently. “I didn’t know you didn’t want them anymore.” 

Maggie shook her head, heartbreaking sobs escaping her body. “Alex it’s not that. It’s-” Another sob took over and she was unable to speak anymore for a while. 

Alex just held her the entire time until finally Maggie was able to breathe. Pulling back slightly, she brushed dark hair out of her face. “What’s the matter?”

Maggie’s bottom lip trembled. “You know how I haven’t been feeling well lately?” At Alex’s nod she continued. “Well I went to the doctor’s today to get checked out and... Alex, I have cancer.” 

Silence. Dead silence. The only thing they could hear was the harsh breathing of Alex. 

“No.” Alex said softly. Then louder, “No.” She stood up suddenly, startling Maggie. Pacing back and forth, she said, “They must have got something wrong. There is no way you have cancer. You’re thirty two for fuck’s sake!” Looking back at her wife, she said, “I’ll do a test tomorrow, don’t worry. I know they did something wrong.” 

Maggie got up and hesitantly placed her hands on her arms. “Alex, I made them do the test three times to make sure. I didn’t want to believe it either but-” Alex pulled away, shaking her head. Then she stopped and sighed, looking down. 

“How long?” she whispered. 

The dreaded question. “Estimation is a year.” 

A year. 365 days. 525600 minutes. No. This wasn’t enough time. Not for them to complete their lifetime of firsts. They had barely started.  

Alex wanted to hit something, to scream at the world but looking at her wife, red eyed and slumped with exhaustion, she quickly made her way over and wrapped her in a tight hug. 

They stood there for a long time, wrapped up in each other’s arms, memorizing each other’s scents. 

That night as they lay tangled in bed, naked bodies pressed softly together, whispered words of love were traded back and forth between gentle kisses. 

 

They had both decided quickly to quit their jobs the next morning, Alex for a while and Maggie...forever. 

Maggie’s boss had quickly found out the reason behind her resignation and told her he would keep sending her money despite her protests. 

J’onn didn’t need to provoke Alex to understand what was going on. Her mind was screaming but he kept it to himself. He only nodded and hugged her tightly and whispered, “Take care of yourself.”  

Kara didn’t understand why Alex suddenly took a leave of absence but one look from Alex told her not to pester her.  

“Maggie and I just need some time alone together. We’ll be traveling for a while, okay?” she told Kara. 

Kara nodded and replied, “Love you Alex.” 

“Love you too, sis.” 

 

They booked plane tickets the next day to Madrid. They wanted to travel to as many places as possible. 

A couple months past and they had traveled to ten different locations. They spent the days traveling around, trying new activities and different foods, laughs and dimpled smiles being shared between them. 

At night it was more somber. Their love making was tender and soft, eyes always on each other as they made each other fall over the edge over and over again until they passed out in each other’s arms. They did this every night for two months before Alex’s belly started to get in the way. Then they cuddled, sharing kisses and Maggie stroking her stomach and speaking softly to the baby within. 

 

When the fifth month came, Alex and Maggie were no longer able to travel. Alex was unable to do many activities do to her growing baby and Maggie was becoming more tired, more weak. They decided to go back home. 

There was a celebration party when they got back home, all thanks to Kara. She had figured it out due to the numerous instagram posts of Maggie’s. They got through the door and the lights were flicked on. The entire Superfriends, including Lena welcomed them back and there was a banner strewn over the fireplace that said “Congratulations!” 

Kara squealed when she saw Alex and rushed over, hands fluttering over her stomach. “Oh my god, Alex! You’re huge!” 

“Hey!” Alex said indignantly, swatting at her sister. 

Kara’s eyes went wide. “I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant that the baby is growing so you’re getting bigger. Not fat or anything.” She started to babble, causing Alex to laugh and Lena to walk over and place a hand on her shoulder. 

“Kara, darling. We get it,” she said with a chuckle. Kara snapped her mouth shut, blush rising to her cheeks. 

The celebration went far into the night and everyone was full of laughs and smiles. Only J’onn stayed a bit somber, though he did smile at the appropriate times. Alex sensed he knew and was grateful he didn’t say anything. 

 

It was two months later when Maggie fell. 

Everyone was at the alien bar after a particular successful rescue mission from Supergirl. Alex noticed that Maggie didn’t look so good so she offered to take her home. Maggie shook her head and forced a smile. 

“I’m fine, babe,” she reassured her. “Just a little tired.” 

The signs of cancer hadn’t been a problem for them and while that word loomed over their heads, they never mentioned it, focusing only on the good things. Maggie had days when she was tired but she had never felt like this before. Until now. 

After a few minutes Maggie got up to refill her drink. She got a few steps in before she collapsed, glass shattering on impact. 

“Maggie!” Alex shouted, running over. Ignoring the glass, she knelt down and turned Maggie over. Her face was ashen and her breathing uneven. 

Kara whipped off her glasses. “There’s something wrong with her heartbeat, Alex. I’m going to fly her to the hospital.” 

Alex nodded mutely and watched as Kara gently picked Maggie up and set off. 

The rest of the group left after Alex’s reassurances that Maggie would be okay and she would update them later. Lena was the last one with her and the first words she said were, “She’s dying isn’t she?” 

Alex’s eyes widened. “How do you know that?”

“I thought it weird that you and Maggie would just quit your jobs and leave for months with little explanation. Especially since you’re pregnant. It makes sense now.” 

Alex blinked back tears. “She has cancer. We found out right after I found out I was pregnant.” She let out a cold laugh. “The world has a sick sense of humor, doesn’t it?”

Lena nodded sadly. “It does. Many times the world is just a cruel son of a bitch to those who don’t deserve it.” She paused, contemplating her next words before saying, “I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to. Or scream at.”

Alex nodded. “Thank you Lena. But I think you had enough of people using you in your life.” With a quick hug, she went to the hospital. 

 

It turns out the cancer had been dormant for all these months before releasing a full on attack. The doctor told her that Maggie would have to stay at the hospital so they could keep an eye on her and make the remainder of her days as comfortable as possible. 

Alex had been furious. She screamed at the doctor, “She’s dying! How the fuck is she suppose to feel comfortable knowing she is dying!” Maggie had to calm her down, holding her as she cried herself out. 

Kara had been sitting in the waiting room and with her hearing, she had heard Alex’s anguish crying and started sobbing herself. It all made sense now and she hated herself for not noticing earlier, not being there for Alex. 

Shortly after Kara found out, Alex had contacted everyone and told the truth. 

For weeks everyone came to visit Maggie at the hospital and when they weren’t there, they were at Alex’s. They never tried to take her mind off it, only kept her company while she cried and screamed and threw things. 

One day while visiting Magige, Alex felt a contraction. A very painful one. She gasped and hunched over, hand on her belly. 

“Alex?” Maggie said in concern. 

Alex shook her head. “No, no. It’s too early. It’s way too early. I-” she broke off with a cry of pain. A passing nurse stopped and called for help before grabbing Alex and pushing her into a wheelchair. They started wheeling her out. 

Maggie was panicking. Without a second thought, she was getting out of bed and pulling out her IVs. She stumbled and her legs gave out under her. “No, Alex!” She started crawling out the door desperately, trying to reach Alex’s disappearing figure. Hands grabbed her under her arms and she fought vainly. “No! I need to be with my wife!” The nurse ignored her and with Maggie’s weak strength, she easily got Maggie back into the bed. 

Alex was in another room, screaming and crying as the pain increased. “Where’s Maggie? I need to be with Maggie! Please, I can’t have this baby without her.” 

“Ms. Danvers, this baby is very early and we need your help. You need to push okay because he is coming out one way or another,” the doctor explained calmly. 

Cursing every god in the world, Alex screamed and her body started to push. Minutes past before all the pain disappeared and she collapsed back on the bed, forehead glistening with sweat. It took a minute for her to notice the silence. It was deafening and she shot up and demanded to see her baby. 

The doctor ignored her and called the nurses. “We need to get this baby into NICU immediately.” 

Alex could feel her heart beating out of her chest. “What’s wrong with my baby?” When she wasn’t getting an answer, she slammed her hand down on the nearby table. “Damnit, what is wrong with him?!” 

“Ms. Danvers, you’re baby was born prematurely and he isn’t breathing at the moment. We are going to attach him to a respirator and all we can do now is hope for the best.” 

Alex couldn’t breath. This was too much. This was too cruel for even the worst of people. She didn’t understand what she had done to deserve this. This baby had been her last chance and she felt him slipping away. 

About an hour later, she was able to see her baby. It was a tiny thing, barely breathing and placed in a glass case. The heart monitor was beeping steadily next to them, silently mocking. 

Alex saw movement besides her and turned to see a nurse wheeling Maggie in. Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears and Alex took her hand, rubbing across the back of it. 

Maggie reached inside one of the holes of the case and gently touched her baby’s hand. As if sensing her there, the baby latched on. 

_ Beep. Beep.  _

“Hey there, darling,” Maggie whispered. “You’ll be okay because you will have an amazing mother to take care of you. Even if I’m not here.” 

_ Beep. Beep.  _

“I know it’s scary now but no matter what, it will be okay.” 

_ Beep...Beep.  _

The tiny hand in hers started to weaken its grasp. 

“No. No, please don’t do this. Come on, honey. Fight.”

The hand fell limply in hers and the beeping ceased to be replaced by one continuous whine. 

Maggie was shaking and muttering, “No, no, no.” 

Alex just stared at the limp figure in the glass case before she let out a terrible scream, her heart ripping out of her chest. 

Alex Danvers doesn’t lose. 

But she just lost everything. 


End file.
